Friday, December 30, 2011

The Night That Remy Died

Warning: This is our account on the murder of our house rat. No dead mice are shown (save his tail).

Dear Blog,

If you are my friend on Facebook you may have already seen this photo:

You see, a little over a month ago Heath and I heard some crunching noises one night coming from the kitchen. The next morning we saw a rodent turd on the floor. Yes. We had a rat in the house. This was unusual for Heath. He dealt with many rats on his mission but never here in Arizona. I however was familiar with this. When I was younger and lived on Robin Lane we had plenty of mice.

So we went about setting up traps. I never want to see a dead rat on the floor when I wake up so I did not want to go the traditional rat trap route. I found instead these covered spin traps. You don't have to see the dead creature and the trap indicates whether there is anything inside and then you just throw the whole thing away. We baited it with some peanut butter but for a whole week nothing became of it.

One morning Heath just got out of the shower and still wrapped in his towel went to the pantry to get some cereal. (You know your husbands do it to). To the right of the pantry door hangs the aprons and in the corner of his eye he saw the aprons moving. He looked over and caught a quick glance of the rat trying it's hardest to stay on. Heath grabbed something nearby and in the process lost his towel. He started beating the aprons. Naked. He looked absolutely crazy! The mouse dropped to the floor and scrambled his way underneath the couch. Heath still looking crazy barged into our room to announce to me the updated whereabouts of the rat. Later that day we discovered it was still under the couch. We tried with all our might to catch it but it found its way back home again. (That is what the above picture is portraying).

Onto the next strategy. I do not like sticky traps. At all. Yes, I am a bit of an animal rights activist (exaggeration?) and I can't just toss the live rodent to suffer in the dumpster until it died or got crushed. But we set out sticky traps nonetheless. Still, nothing!

We started getting creative. One night I was up late and heard the rat in our bathroom. "Perfect!" I thought, "I can trap him in there. So I lined up some sticky traps along the doorway thinking he would be stuck in the bathroom or he will get stuck to the paper. The next morning we found....nothing! I should have known they can jump. Heath made a 2 x 2 sticky pad with some yummy food in the middle. This thing separated one row of the paper and walked up the center to the pile of food and left not a sign of his presence. Not even a hair!

This little (big) mouse set up his home underneath our kitchen cabinet. We tried trapping him there. He clearly had food storage. We could hear him munching every night. Well, we weren't giving up! But especially Heath. He started losing it a little bit.

The floor had just been freshly swept and mopped one evening. Heath was changing out the laundry. He dropped off the dry laundry in our bedroom, then put the wet into the dryer and started a new load. He turned around and there he saw it.

The rat? No, no, no. He didn't see the rat. What he saw was worse (in his eyes). What he saw was...

a turd! On the freshly mopped floor!!! Heath couldn't handle such an atrocity. He exclaimed that he just walked past that spot and nothing was there and a few minutes later there it was. And no sign of the rat. Oh, we could just imagine it. The rat was hiding in an unusual spot. He needed to get back to his home under the kitchen cabinet. He saw that I was in the other room with the child. And the man was busy with that loud machine. Here was his chance. But as he scurried past he paused and a malicious smirk grew on his face. "I'm just gonna take a dump right here. That'll get 'em!"

Yes, that is surely what happened.

Not to many nights ago Heath woke up in the middle of the night. He heard the rat. This time he was close and sounded like he was in our closet. He must have been climbing on something because Heath heard him fall and thud onto the carpet. Gives me the shudders.

Poison was out of the question, what with a toddler running around. Plus, I was wary of the rat going back to his hideout, dying and then stinking up the joint. What could we do?

One night we set out a few crumbs of bread right outside his home. Heath sat on the counter top with a big heavy textbook-like book, waiting for the rat to come eat the little morsels and so Heath could drop the book on him. Well, he waited and waited and waited. About 15 minutes of waiting. And no rat came. Finally, he gave up and we sat on the couch and chatted for a little bit (about 20 feet away from the kitchen). About 5 minutes later I got up and walked past the kitchen. The crumbs were gone! Oh he was a clever rat. But not clever enough!!!

Heath found a mouse trap on The reviews were very good. We ordered it and set it out right before we went to bed. No more than 10 minutes later we heard a SNAP! and some scratching then silence. Heath did one of those cool inward fist pumps with a whispered "YES!" and went out to see the lowly dead creature. He peaked around the corner into the kitchen and startled the still-breathing rat!!! It started panicking and actually, perhaps more accurately, started tap dancing with the trap as his tap shoe ("trap" dancing?). It was brutal. About half way into his routine he bled through his mouth and made the kitchen into a true murder scene. Heath felt bad and I just wished he would die. Why did it take so long?
He tapped on and off for at least 15 minutes.

Finally dead, I could witness this thing that haunted our home for a month. He was big. Probably between 10-12 inches from nose to tail. He looked like Remy from Ratatouille. Same coloring and everything. Plus he preferred to be in the kitchen. Poor little fellow. But maybe if you could cook like Remy we would have kept you alive. Besides, we fed you for a month and how did you thank us? By pooping on our floors!

Now, if you dare look. Here are some pictures of the crime scene...

dun dun DUN

It was a blood bath.

Now don't tell me I didn't warn you!
Heath wrote a lovely short on it here. And don't worry. No toddlers ate rat poop during Remy's stare here at the Wilcock residence. Or so I surely hope that no toddlers ate rat poop. Oh my, I pray she didn't!

Emily "The rat killer" Wilcock

Monday, December 26, 2011

2nd annual Very "Kerri" Christmas

Dear Blog,
Before I post about our Christmas (which was awesome, by the way) here is the lovely Kerri's house all spiffed up for the holidays.

 One of my favorite of Kerri's crafts this year. Love the buttons.
 So this doll represents me as I am holding "Juni." Apparently I am also the evil elf. Emily the Evil Elf
 Her abundant Anthro DIY snowglobes. They were fun to make, or so I heard.

 Juniper Lucy with Lucy the pug.
 The cracker jar/toadstool version of the Anthro snowglobe.

 Cutest Christmas garland ever!

 Anthro copied paper Christmas trees.

 This is one of the new decorations she added this year. Santa and Mrs. Claus with Rudolph and Co.

Is Juni the luckiest girl or what? Thank you Kerri for always making Christmas extra special (and for being the best gift giver ever!!!)

Merry Christmas!!!


Monday, December 19, 2011

I am back from the grave

Dear Blog,

Are you there? Do you remember me? I am sure you are wondering if I remember you. Quite a few people have asked when I am going to update my blog. I got so tired (I still am) and things got a little overwhelming for a time so the blog had to be cut. I really thought I never would for some time but I think I change my mind.

Since my last post

We have:

Experienced Disneyland
Moved to another apartment, much closer to ASU
had a mouse in the house for the past month that we CANNOT seem to catch!

I have:

started up school again (at ASU)

become dependent on Coca-Cola (thanks to Heath's strong influence)

become the Relief Society and Ward Choir pianist

actually started, finished, and displayed more than one craft found on Pinterest

That cake was so tasty! and Heath, you're so photogenic.
Heath has:

turned 25 years old!

found out he is going to be published in print in LUX

been chosen to intern for the literary magazine  

Hayden's Ferry Review at ASU
been waiting patiently for a calling in our new ward

It is amazing the change in Juni that past 6 months. She no longer looks like this: a baby.

 Juni has:

started daycare

stopped daycare (she really wasn't ready and now she is more clingy than ever)

turned 2 years old!

been weaned from the bottle

become obsessed with hats (see last picture)

 Some cute pictures of June Bug

Most of these things I am sure you already knew about but that is the past 6 months in a nut shell.

I have missed you all and here is to the next post!


Friday, June 17, 2011

The Legendary Heath Wilcock

Dear Blog,

So I posted this already on facebook at least a week ago so this is long, long overdue. But the world must know that I have a funny, strange, talented, creative, and kind husband who has published his first couple of short stories on an online literary journal The Legendary. It's like a salesman making his first sale. A runner entering his first race. A midwife delivering her first baby -- too far? Anyways, I couldn't be more proud of him and you must go read them here by clicking on his name.

AND speaking of Heath, he gets to be celebrated even more on Sunday for Father's Day and again on Monday for his 25th birthday!!! I think you should all go to his blog and wish him a Happy Birthday/Father's Day/congratulations for being published. He deserves the recognition and it'll make his day.

And come on! Just look at this picture. He's quite the guy isn't he? But don't ask me where his shirt is in this picture. I wouldn't know.

Here's looking at you, kid. I love you!


Saturday, June 11, 2011

Paris Encore, S'il Vous Plait!

Dear Blog,

I have to do this! I really want to win this!

Bonne chance a moi!


Monday, June 6, 2011

3 Years

Dear Blog,

3 years ago today, Heath and I were married!

So, we're going to do something fun tonight and this will be, yet again, another quick post.

But here's to 3 years with Heath. I love you!


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

3-Day Weekend

Dear Blog,

Yes, it has been a while again. Things are just on my mind and I have been unable to write them down, maybe due to laziness. I think I may need a life coach. But until I'm wealthy enough to afford such a luxury you may just have to deal with me. OK, wow! I have already gone off on a tangent and it's only the first paragraph.

Anyway, we had a lovely weekend and an especially lovely Memorial Day with my family, mother included all the way from Hawaii. Just look at those cousins. It is so great to have them together.

Thank you Tatum for the pictures.

Lots of fun and lots of laughter and lots of yummy food. Can we do this again?


Friday, May 20, 2011

Cry Me a River

Dear blog,

I should be in bed right now, but instead I am subjecting myself to self-inflicted sobbing by listening . . . over and over again . . . by just about every cover there is on youtube . . . to this song.

The ending kind of changes the mood (understandably right?) but then again, what are pictures for? So, this commercial version was the one I liked best.

OK, be honest. Did you cry too?


Thursday, May 19, 2011

Is something going around?

Dear blog,

Something very foreign has been happening over here in the Wilcock home. We've been sick. It's nothing serious, thank goodness. As mentioned before we were sick about a month ago with some 24 hour stomach flu and last week Heath and Juni started getting some congestion.

On Saturday, Juniper just whimpered, slept and barely ate a thing. Every time she coughed she cried because it hurt her. She could only fall asleep on my chest so I didn't get much done either.

I took this picture with my phone while stuck on the couch with Juniper. She looked so sad and so sweet

She's feeling better now but her cough still sounds awful and sounds like a purring kitten when she breathes.

As for me, I woke up with a sour stomach on Tuesday morning and had multiple runs to the toilet and sink and the nausea stayed around the entire day. Thumbs down. So I was mostly stuck on the couch again. And now today I've started sneezing and I can feel the sore throat and runny nose pushing it's way out.

Again, I know that this is like the low-grade illness stuff we're going through here but this just hasn't happened before and especially with 2 separate incidences so close together. OK, I'll stop my complaining. Our sufferings at the moment are so minimal I need to be grateful that it's nothing more and that we are quite healthy. Hope all of you are doing well. Much love...


Monday, May 9, 2011

Fathers and Daughters

Dear blog,

Heath shared a special bonding moment with Juniper during bath time tonight. They exchanged and enjoyed each other's differences. Juni shared with daddy her toys and daddy shared with Juni his interests (I mean his humor).

How sweet!

Now, listening to the song is a must.


Sunday, May 8, 2011

Children Are The Key Ingredient To A Happy Mother's Day

Dear Blog,

On this very Mother's Day I got to go to church and teach my primary class. They were a bit rowdy but they are very sweet children and they make me feel like they love me and think about me (at least on Sunday mornings). One of the girls drew me a picture on the sacrament meeting program and it said "I like you." And two other girls sat on either side of me during primary, grasping each of my arms tight with their heads resting on my shoulder. They were kind enough to tell me that my arms are "nice and not hairy" and "squishy like gummy bears." Then when primary was over, one of the cuddliest boys (though I'm sure he wants others to believe he is the boy of all boys) of my class gave me a hug and wished me a happy Mother's day. Honestly, they could be the naughtiest children and they would still make me melt.

The primary presidency put together a questionnaire for the children to answer about their mothers. You know where this is going, don't you? Well, here are some Q's and A's.

All images via google images, btw.

What does your mom do in the morning?

Lots of cleans the house and goes to work
-"Valentine's for my friends"
-um.. I don't know...we don't go somewhere
-do taxes
-go to "JIM"
-"gliter toes"

What does your mom look like in the morning?

Lots of tired and crazy hair
-"a grumpy witch"
-angry gorilla
-"rat nasty" (what?!)
-wears white clothes (I just about died with laughter)
-tired but sunshine face and happy (I want to be this mom)

What is your mom's favorite thing to eat?

Lots of pizza and salad
-cheeseburgers and happy meals to get toys!
-"deffinately twizzlers"

How much does your mom weigh?

-30 lbs.
-a lot
-more than me (smart alec)
-2000 lbs
-"What kind of question is this?"
-"never answering" (you can tell this is an older and wiser child)

What is your mom's favorite movie or TV show?

-The Bachelor
-Appropriate movies
-Bad movies
-"good movies for me, bad movies for her"
-Glenn Beck
-"She likes to watch when she got married to my daddy"
-Exorcist (Yikes!)

Something your mom says to you every day?

I am happy to report that the answers consisted of something related to school, clean your room, but mostly I love you. Oh! But the most unusual answer, "Want to make a snowmen out of mud?"

And finally my favorite series of answers:
What is your favorite thing to do with your mom?

-Read with her
-Play checkers and tickle torture
-"spend all her money for doing something fun"
-"We run out of cheese, we get some, go to costco"
-"snuggle on my bed with her"
-play games
-"spend time together doing fun things, just us two"

It's just so sweet how simple and meaningful their answers were on this last question. It all boils down to quality time that something as mundane as running errands with their mommy's becomes one of their cherished memories of that mother-child relationship.

To all the mother's out there, Happy Mother's Day!